april 2021 was a whirlwind for me. i experienced a devastating breakup that changed my entire self to the core. i learned thru the experience that i was relying on someone else to love me the way i wish i loved myself. this realization caused me to start crystal pupa.

so... i put everything i was going thru into this song and video. there are hints and symbolism to the whole thing. it was shot at ruby beach in washington, near forks. there was a bottle of mango bacardi, there was choreography that alluded to various things in my past relationship. there were nods to harley quinn and sirens. apples like the cover of twilight (set in forks). honestly it was a magical experience to do it. (i did feel pretty vulnerable and insecure though, it's scary to put yourself out there). i'm grateful to everyone who helped shoot it.

i've always been someone who uses art as a coping mechanism i guess. but i think its valid, and it makes me happy. sorry if it makes the people in my life uncomfortable if you end up in art like this... but... you knew it was a risk!

photo by akvile bukauskaite